You are who you are, growing up during your 20-something years in an environment that honed those characteristics of who you are. When you embark in social networks outside your comfort zones, e.g. home, parents, siblings, you begin to realize that some of the things that make you “you” don’t mix well with the network; and so you adjust. Likewise, you do the same thing in the workplace. You also learn and add new characteristics to your self by observation and “trial and error.”

So, when someone tells you (sometimes forcibly) that “it’s nothing personal,” the truth is it’s always personal. It’s always your personal self mixed with some professional requirements or needs. If you fire someone, it’s not as if some robotic supercomputer has commanded you to inform “John” that the robot is firing him. You or someone else made the “conscious” decision to fire John, a decision made by a person’s mind using personal experiences in the workplace plus other networks and environments. Your persona is always involved even if it is in the workplace.

I always tell my personal stories to people that I work with not because they are wonderful stories to tell but for the reason that I need people to know who I am and why I behave the way I behave, think, decide and so on. Many of those I’ve worked with know I have a mother who lives far away from me and my father died two weeks after I got married. Some know where I spent my childhood days and what school I attended. But knowing all these does not mean “kissing up” to them or to me. Here’s another thing you need to consider — you’ve got be consistent all the time. If you’re the smiling person, always be the smiling person even when problems persist at home.

I’ve had the experience of firing people, and I don’t mean one or five in my lifetime. I’ve fired thousands at one point when I was called the “axe man” responsible for deciding which group or department in a failing company must be shutdown and who should be let go. I knew that the personal side of “me” was involved in the decision process. So, how did I become personal in a professional task like this? I helped in the person’s transition from having no job to creating job opportunities for him.

As an example, I’d like to share with you someone who used to work for me in a previous company. Jane is a sweet, friendly person who was hired by someone and placed in my group to work as one of the three assistants that I already had. The few days she started with me told me how industrious she was, always busy and always looking for work to do. However, in the coming weeks, her weaknesses began to appear. Jane did her work a lot slower than the rest of my assistants. No matter how we all pitched in to try to help, her mental capacity to absorb new information and finish work was just not at par to the requirements of the company we all worked for.  Everyone was starting to do Jane’s work because she was slowing us all down.

So, one night, I already decided that I had to fire her. I sat down at the dinner table one night when everyone in the house were already asleep, got some blank sheets of paper and started to analyze Jane — sort of like a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) analysis. Then, I listed down people who I knew that may benefit employing Jane, even fictional types of people like “an Uncle who owned a manpower agency.”

The following day, early in the morning, I called Jane and we went to an empty, private office. I could see from her eyes she was nervous. I used the “Kiss-Kick-Kiss” technique by opening up with her strengths, reading it from the pieces of paper I had scribbled the night before and letting Jane see those pieces of paper flat on the desk. I told her I have decided to ask her to resign. Then, I went to my list of prospective employers where her total characteristics will benefit those companies or places. I also asked her if she knew relatives or acquaintances that fitted the list of fictional types of people and companies I wrote down. We went through a lot of “what if” scenarios and our discussion lasted for two hours. At the end of our meeting, we quickly drew up talking points on what she can honestly answer people if asked why she was leaving, making sure she resigned than being terminated from work. I also told her to give me a call whenever she hits a wall on her job hunting or when she already has work.

I allowed Jane to stay the following day where our group gathered to bid her goodbye with potluck and delivered food and drinks. Like we expected, many asked the same question why she resigned and, at one query, she even winked at me before she answered back. A month later, Jane visited us in the office and told me and everyone else where she currently works and how she enjoys the job. Privately, she thanked me for giving her a sense of her strengths and where she could put that to use.

When I mentioned firing thousands of people, the initial task was an exercise of my brain and my analytical experiences brought into a single spreadsheet. However, in the action of terminating the groups and departments, I ventured into the fire: I personally went to the location of the group and told them that we were shutting them down. Of course, doing so meant a thousand-and-one questions and I was ready to answer their questions. I was also ready to provide post-employment assistance — both monetary and functional — helping them transition to their next job. I prepared all these before I went around the scattered locations, having gotten budgets from my superiors to set up these different support groups. I didn’t get “death threats” but did somehow get course or painful remarks during my face-to-face encounters. But I didn’t chide these remarks; rather, I faced them with truthful answers. If I didn’t know the answer then, I promised to get back to them personally and I did. The moment you become personal with people — letting them know who you really are and seeing how honest you are to them — their anger or frustration dies down and become more open to solutions or next steps.

Whoever your boss is, they should also know the real you. It’s not “ass kissing” as most employees label such action. In my experience, letting my boss know who I am has always worked to my advantage without going against any company policy or unlawful act. Let’s say you’re late because you had a spat with your spouse. If your boss never really knew anything about your wife — who she really is — chances are your tardiness is grounds for some negative action coming from your boss. However, I’ve always made sure my superiors have always known my wife and kids even if they never met them. If there’s a chance to let my family meet my boss, I always strike upon the opportunity because a face is always a stronger recall than just a name or a description. One time in my career when trouble struck in the family, my boss becomes more understanding of the situation. I explained that my work schedule had been clashing with my family’s need for my time and it was already becoming worse with arguments. What did my boss do? She went out of her way to find me an alternative position in the company, which actually became better for my career.

Spouses (or in my case my wife) have always complained about husbands bringing work to the home where, as most of them would say, doesn’t belong there. “Work is work and the family at home doesn’t need to hear about work.” However, I totally disagree — to a certain extent. In a marital relationship, you spouse has got to be your greatest, best friend or BFF! If he or she isn’t, there’s something wrong. Therefore, in times of stress or distress, there’s one person you can rely on for counsel, inner guidance and down-to-earth advise — and that’s your spouse. However, you can’t just jump into a conversation about the office every now and then. In a personal relationship, there is consistency and routine that human nature expects or looks for. So, sharing your office woes only isn’t the way to go; there’s also got to be good times and positive events or activities that has to be told as well. Making it a daily routine, say 10 minutes about the office, is the best foot forward that allows your spouse to share the good, the bad and the ugly. And when the downtimes hit you, it isn’t hard to explain it to your spouse because he or she already knows most of the things you do and that happens in your office.

Also consider your kids. Who do you think are their heroes or role models? I’m sure there’s a time when your child would bug you to bring him or her to your office — and you do (if you haven’t, you’re depriving you child of knowing more about you). Chances are he or she will tell their friends of their trip to dad’s (or mom’s) office, the experiences they encountered, the people they met, the things they say — I mean, you know children and their animated way of story-telling an experience. After that first visit, your children will continue to ask questions about your work and the office, and knowing you strike a conversation on the dinner table about the office every so often relieves your children that all is well with you — their hero or idol (for now).

When I attend a meeting where I get to meet a new person, I always make sure to bring something personal on the table. I can talk about my family and our travels, my peers in high school, my personal achievements and so on. For women, showing your family picture to them grabs the whole “personal and professional” mix up one level in the “trust” spectrum. Why? Business transactions are still made and dealt with by people. People always use their hindsight, gut-feel or intuition to decide the better course for their business or work. Telling someone who you really are provides more positive inputs to their decision making. But don’t lie — there are those who are experienced and learned enough to know if you’re lying. Telling a fib can ricochet badly if it’s later known to be a lie — be careful! The internet has flattened our world and news and stories now travel faster than you can spell “Mississippi.” So, honesty and trust adds value to the decision making process of a person, no matter what you are selling, marketing or presenting; and providing more personal truths about yourself brings more credibility to your professional expertise.

The person in you has to mix with your professional persona. That’s the only way everyone wins. Hiding the truth about yourself isn’t a protectionism action against unwanted thwarts, not unless you yourself are doing something bad, illegal or very negative that you fear the repercussion of similar actions. Your peers in the workplace has to better understand you and the way you do things. Your spouse and children have to know what’s going on with you in the workplace so they can also adjust in your personal abode. Your network of new and old business associates need to know more about you and what makes you or the organization you represent the best candidate for their needs. Everything you do at work is the effect of who you were and who you are today. Letting people around you understand your “human nature” allows them to adjust or to counsel you when the need arises.

In the end, it’s a “Win-Win” scenario. Now, who wouldn’t want a win-win result?

Like what the subtitle of Howard Schultz’s book says, “One cup at a time,” I strongly recommend going to Starbucks for the start of something great in your career, business and the things you do great!

Why on earth would I say that Starbucks is a great place to do your work? Let me sum it up in one long and bold sentence:

“It offers one of the best coffee in the world plus I just love the ambiance of the hissing of its large coffee maker, the resonance of its blenders that creates their famous Frappuccino drink, the jingle of the scoops of ice that make their iced lattes and mocha drinks, the holler of its baristas to whose drink is currently being served at the bar, the chatter of banter and sweet conversations, the slight turning of the page by solitary readers of books, magazines and newspapers, and the keyboard clicks of nonchalant writers and workaholics (like myself) at the surrounding tables.”

Obviously, it’s not just the coffee; the sensation of being in its café adds value to working in a Starbucks coffee shop.

Starbucks is probably the best place to set up your first business meeting that will never hurt your cash pockets. I mean, why spend a ridiculously high sum of money over lunch or dinner for a deal that you have no idea where it’s headed? At the end of the day, it’s all about matching what you offer and what your counterpart is looking for. No matter how expensive, extravagant and image-building the meal is, if your business endeavors do not complement each other, it will never work out. “The meal doesn’t make the deal.” So, the best place to cold-call and start the business relationship in an appeasing atmosphere that allows both you and your new acquaintance to relax while shop-talking is still a Starbucks coffee shop.

Recently, I had the chance to call on bloggers to invite them to write for an upcoming travel portal to the Philippines that I’m involved with. Though the site is (frustratingly) not yet online, I’ve managed to get quite a number of good bloggers on the fold while getting introduced to a new, growing segment of the publishing industry that I never cared to bother myself to know more about. I met most of my prospective writers and photo-journalists in a Starbucks coffee shop, a lot of these done at café along Legaspi corner Rufino streets in Legaspi Village, Makati City. My intent for meeting each one of these budding writers and photographers is to describe the travel portal project in detail, something that my literary abilities cannot correctly express. The relaxed aura of meeting at Starbucks proved to be successful, and many signed up to be part of the project.

So, one might ask where this excessive penchant for Starbucks began. As my agile mind can recall, it started in November of 1994 when I had my first taste of a cup of brewed “to go” Starbucks coffee in Sydney, Australia, right before boarding a boat that would take us to the famous Opera House. The trip to Australia was one of my marital travel adventures – my wife, Carina, and I had a penchant for traveling as much as we can before we decided to have kids – six vacation trips in a span of just a year which brought agitated responses from my then Avon boss, Connie Arboleda (who also became my firstborn’s godmother). I heard of Starbucks only from books and magazines. “Hmm. Not bad” was my smiling response. But that was it. It took a year before I had a chance to go to Vancouver, British Columbia in Canada for the first time when my wife gave birth to our first born, Cara Isabelle. In my three weeks there, I probably drank 3 cups per week, usually the brewed kind, and without my wife knowing that I was slipping in and out of her aunt’s house where we lived. The nearest Starbucks café was a five minute walk along Granville Avenue in the Marpole district of Vancouver, BC, which was also right in front of a Safeway store. It was actually the latter which I used as my alibi to buy nonessential things just to skip out of the house and buy my cup of Starbucks coffee.

When I came back to the Philippines, I actually mailed a proposal letter to Starbucks in Seattle, Washington where I offered to get a franchise for a Philippine store. In those days, e-mail was nonexistent and “Voice over IP” was unknown. I never got a response from them.

In 1997, Starbucks opened its first Philippine store at the 6750 Building along Ayala Avenue in Makati City. It was a partnership with Rustan’s Corporation, a well-known family who has been a business mainstay of department stores, supermarkets and restaurants in the country. I thought they got a franchise from Starbucks Coffee Company, something I attempted to do. A few years later, I read the very first published book by CEO Howard Schultz of his wonderful story of Starbucks and learned that the coffee company does not franchise – it partners with experienced restaurant companies on the basis of its standard partnership demand to create hundreds of branches on an annual basis.

The years went on in my corporate life and I sipped the famous coffee mainly for pleasure. Then, it became an evening ritual and for good reason. At the end of a tiring day in the office, my wife and kids would always demand quality time from me until they all zonked out on bed. Having all these corporate issues and debacles in my head while being with my family was a tough thing to handle. Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife and kids very much but the transition wrought my mind with distraught. I started straying to Starbucks for a moment’s time of peace while trying to readjust before driving back home and welcoming my family with high energy and smiles. I would spend half-an-hour or so sipping my hot, grande, non-fat, one equal latte while simmering the humid air outside (I smoked a lot before) and observing the people around me. Sometimes, I would read a magazine or today’s newspaper that was always available inside the café. I realized that the entire routine was the best relaxing way to downplay my corporate role, adjust and move into my fatherly and spouse role. This went on forever.

I would also use Starbucks as my venue to meet friends, acquaintances, old schoolmates and former office colleagues. The ambiance gave a better venue for entertaining ourselves over our hot or cold drinks and the not-too-heavy offering of meals and pastries. My corporate meetings would also be set on its hallowed grounds and I would guess 50% of the time, something successful came out of my many meetings in a Starbucks café.

When I got a chance to work at an American call center in Guyana (South America), my trip would take me from Manila to a two hour stopover at Narita airport in Japan where I would savor a cup before a longer flight. I would arrive at LAX airport in Los Angeles, California, grab another cup of Starbucks coffee before hailing a Supershuttle van for my one hour trip to Fontana, CA, where my Mom lived. I would stay for 2 or 3 nights before going back to LAX to catch an afternoon flight to Guyana. The plane would take us to Northwest Airlines’ Detroit or Minneapolis St. Paul hub, usually for another two hour layover before going en route to Miami, Florida. The latter was the last leg of my domestic U.S. flights. My next ride was a British West Indies Airways plane (they commonly called it “Beewee”) which had a one hour stopover at Barbados before proceeding to Guyana. Okay, let me count the number of times I would buy a Starbucks cup – five cups in a grueling 36-hour flight from Manila to Guyana, not to mention the fact that I always brought at least 5 big bags of ground coffee because three months without Starbucks would be suicide. That’s why I always have my 2 nights in California. The round trip back to Manila would be the same and the number of cups of Starbucks coffee I sipped would still be the same. This went on for two years with a quarterly home leave for 2 weeks.

One Christmas season, I gave away those “Manila” labeled wide-bottom mugs to my CEO and the people who reported directly to me at the Guyana call center. I wondered why Sean Krivatch, my CEO boss, enthusiastically thanked me days later. I later learned that he and his wife loved the mug because it wouldn’t rock unbalanced on the bed mattress, and their “breakfast in bed” routine quickly added my mugs into their customary habit. “I never thought of it that way but, hey! You’re very much welcome for the mugs.”

After two years, I hastily left my work in Guyana to fly back to Manila because of family problems. Being away regardless of my quarterly visits was a strain on my relationship with my family despite the financial gains. I could call them once every other day and would use the online text messaging system chikka.com to send short messages to my wife’s mobile phone. My computer at our condominium unit along Roxas boulevard only used a dial-up internet connection and my wife was never interested in learning anything that had to do with computers. She was a dentist by profession and that was the extent of her technical knowledge in life.

Back in Manila, I roamed the city streets networking with people who would be interested in my North and South American call center connections while my I fixed my issues with my family. Again, the best place to set up a meeting was Starbucks. By this time, there were so many branches between the cities of Pasig, Makati, Manila and Muntinlupa, places where I had easy access to go to. There would be new encounters with entrepreneurs and corporate managers that may be interested in me or what I had to offer. Friends would drop by to offer their help in referrals. It was actually the best place to meet during this time of my life because it was always a “dutch treat” encounter between me and those I was meeting. If I had to pony-up the treat, it was just a cup of hot or cold coffee, not a big strain on my dwindling savings.

There had been many good and bad encounters for me while sipping my coffee in a Starbucks café. It was the place where my wife and I had a big argument (good thing we were outside). I had my only one-on-one talk with father-in-law out at the Alabang branch before my family and I went to Canada. Starbucks Greenbelt 3 was where I got Frank Lai of Montreal-based GoldTech Systems, Inc. to sign a joint venture partnership deal with Hans Dee of Mannasoft Technology Corporation with the intent to set up GoldTech in the Philippines. Though I was a 10% shareholder of the new company in paper, I reassigned my shares to Frank so he and Hans could equally own the company, fifty-fifty. It was also the place where I first met the heads of another Montreal-based company, Fred Cote and Shawn Privatsky. A year later, I got the contract to represent them in the Philippines. Their company is Proximo Systems, Inc. and the hosted call center solution I was to market and sell in the Philippines was called Kunnect. Though I met Kyujin Hwang, then a Vice-President of U.S. based telecommunications company Airnex Communications, Inc., in another place, I had good (business) relationship-building sessions with Kyu in many Starbucks branches. A most recent meeting in Starbucks was with the CEO of The Travel Outlet of Virginia, Inc., Roy Estaris. The Travel Outlet is a twenty-two year old travel agency company in the U.S. and, after I sent my 17-page business plan cum proposal, I got the contract to develop and manage the content of their upcoming travel portal business, Just Go Philippines (or aptly branded as “JustGo Philippines!”). When on his next trip to the Philippines he brought along his COO Naomi Fitzwilliams, whose birthday happened to be on the night they landed in Manila, my business partner Richard Sia and I bought her a Starbucks item as a birthday gift, a set of six espresso-sized cups each labeled with the different city names Starbucks had a branch in the Philippines.

Back while I was in Canada fixing my family problems, my wife and I joined the choir of the Canadian Martyrs Catholic Church. This was where I met Lennie Cristobal, the choir’s musical director and pianist, and we spent many evenings talking about the choir, musical pieces and life in general in a few of the Starbucks branches in Richmond, BC. During one evening coffee session, he got me to agree to start playing bass guitar pieces since two acoustic guitars playing with no consistency in strumming or plucking sounded awful. I could read musical notes so he gave me simple pieces at the start. I eventually translated his pieces into guitar tabs since I could read tabs faster than standard piano pieces.

On an over-the-border trip from Richmond, BC to Seattle, WA, Carina knew that one of my lifelong dreams was to visit the very first Starbucks coffee shop at Pikes Place and we did. When we were there, my kids, Cara and Aaron, looked at me with confused faces why I looked so happy being inside that small place with hardly any chair to sit. I also bought one of their prepaid cash cards that featured the picture of the Pikes Place branch.

Starbucks will always be part of my routine in life – for work and pleasure. I started this literary piece while sipping a grande, one Splenda Americano in Starbucks-Greenbelt One after a nice meal of Hummus and a Gyro (or Shawarma) at The Mediterranean restaurant inside the same mall. Starbucks always has electrical outlets in its store and is friendly to laptop (or notebook) users like myself. It will always be my personal place to think clearly, organize my thoughts, read a good book or magazine and make it the only place to meet people for business or leisure. Even if I had the financial means to set up my own coffee shop, I wouldn’t do it. I’d rather put up something else and continue to savor what every Starbucks café all over the world consistently offers me – a very good cup of coffee and the best ambience for being your self. Like what the subtitle of Howard Schultz’s book says, “One cup at a time,” I strongly recommend Starbucks for the start of something great in your career, business and thing you do great!